


The Heart of a Lion

by Phoenix_Merton



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Almost smut, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Babies, Eventual Romance, Gryffindor, Jily Royalty Fest, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Princess - Freeform, Romance, Royalty, Spies, Undercover Missions, jily, lionheart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-07-23 08:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20005351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix_Merton/pseuds/Phoenix_Merton
Summary: "He was the Lionheart. He was loyal, and brave, and had the heart of a lion. But more importantly, he had captured her's too."A royalty AU where Lily is a princess and James is her lionheart





	1. Classy Girls

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All characters from the series belong to the wonderful JKR.

She is attached to her father's leg, shaking like a leaf destined to depart from a tree branch in the anticipated autumn wind. One only has minutes to choose their lionheart, their protector, their loyal companion for life.

"Alright darling," her father looks down at her, eyes serious yet reassuring, stroking her hair calmingly, "you may choose your lionheart."

She steps forward, standing as tall as a princess possibly can, her back rim-rod straight, her big green eyes narrowed and calculating, her head tilted, considering the two boys in front of her.

They stand before her, both unusually lanky for boys of eleven. One is tall, greatly under dressed in clothes much to big for his frame, yet they look to be the nicest he owns. His eyes are dark, long hair greasy, nose hooked. She has met him once or twice outside the castle walls, has spoken to him about the wonders of the kingdom, and he had even given a flower. Now, he is nervous, and noticeably so. Yet when he is not glancing around the room shiftly he is looking up shyly at her, and she immediately takes pity on him, wants to lift his insecurities off of him and make him feel as important as if he were her lionheart.

The other is just as tall, all limbs and tan skin, dressed in his finest garbs that scream nobility and confidence that expands no doubt to fill his head. He wears glasses, a physical disadvantage, and she wonders why her father had ever contended for him to be in the final choice for lionheart. But behind them are a swirl of hazel, of green, amber, and gold, and despite his smirk, she can see that he is just, if not more nervous than she is, by his barely restrained rocking back and forth on his toes, and the hand itching to thread through his hair. She feels a pull towards this boy, an unexplainable calling as hazel meets green and she is struck by how good it feels to see him, how uplifting it would be to stand and laugh and spend time with someone of his easiness. Her father said she would have a gut feeling, one that would determine who would be the best lionheart she could possibly choose. She feels a gut tugging need to choose hazel eyed mischief.

But she has seen hazel before, from afar. She has seen him be cruel, him and his band of misfits, torturing the boy beside him before the birch tree that stands just outside the training grounds for lionhearts beside the castle. She has often wondered how someone can take so much pleasure in humiliating another so. She wonders now how he can stand next to the other boy, knowing that he has hurt him, and seem so confident, not the least bit affected by a guilty conscience. She cannot pick him to be her lionheart. Her trust cannot go into a "life long companion" who lacks so much empathy.

She turns back to her father and nods.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The king places a hand at the small of his daughter's back and leads her into the head room. He takes the middle seat on one side of an unproportionately long table, and she takes the one across from him. He waits patiently for her to speak, an invitation to practice her leadership skills.

"The one in the black," she says persistently, leaving no room for discussion.

"No," Her father says in with a sternness she has not yet mastered.

Damn.

She is not ready to go down without a fight yet, though.

"And why not?"

"No."

"Is it because he is not as noble as the other?"

"No."

"Not as well put together?"

"No."

Her famous temper is rising. "Father, you always tell us to judge by skill, by sport-"

"No Lily."

"The other is cruel! Arrogant beyond belief! He has no compassion! No empathy! He tortures the others! You cannot expect me to choose a lionheart with a head that large!"

Her father lets her have her fit.

"Lily," he begins eyes serious, "I know that boy has a lot of growing up to do. I know," he amends again as she begins to interject, "but the most important quality of a lionheart is loyalty. And I have no doubt that boy would not change his mind about not only you, but about our kingdom and the light even if he was not the lionheart. That he will stand by you and this kingdom until he has no choice but to die, no matter what other offers he gets."

"I need you to be safe, Lily," he pleads with her, eyes begging her to reconsider.

She pauses.

"I don't like him."

"Lily-"

"I choose the one in black, daddy. He will not betray me, and he has shown me a more true side of himself."

She reaches for his hand.

"I'll be fine, daddy," she implores.

He sighs. "Alright darling. I guess I had better go announce to the kingdom who our new lionheart will be."

She hugs him excitedly. "Thank you!"

They leave the council room in good spirits.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
She was not in good spirits. Not after what her father had just done.

"The kingdom's newest lionheart," he had began, "and protector of none other than our youngest and newly acquired heir to the throne Princess Lily, had been chosen by the Princess herself."

If she had been looking at him , she would have seen an uneasiness in his eyes, a flash of panic, of last minute desperate anxiety that was gone as quickly as it came. No one else had seen it, but she would have. If only she had not been a trusting fool, elated to have chosen her new lionheart.

"James Potter."

Immediately, she knew something was wrong. Although she had not known the names of these boys, Potter was decidedly noble, and she had picked the lesser of the noble boys. The tan one let out a relieved smile, and she turned back to look at her father with eyes of panic.

A mistake, she thought, he has to have made a mistake. The wrong name has been announced, surely that had to be it. He had just mixed up the boys.

But the panic in her gaze was not mirrored by the King's. Instead he had given her a look so strong and had nodded so small with a squared jaw, that there was no mistaking what had just occurred.

The King had overridden the Princess, in a matter in which the King had no place in overriding such a decision.

Her temper flared to life. She wanted to scream. She wanted to turn around and reassure the crowd that really, everything was wrong, and her father was being a giant arrogant bastard. But the fact of the matter was that she too was loyal and considerate like her chosen lionheart, and bad-mouthing her father in front of an entire kingdom did not seem ideal in the least. Her father's gaze had reminded her of that. She would simply have to wait to scream at him in private.

Fuming, she looked down at the tan boy, who began to kneel in front of her and pledge his allegiance.

"James Potter," she heard her father state, "Lionheart to the crown princess, to protect and obey her every command."

She couldn't help but want her first order to be for him to get the bloody hell away from her, even if it was technically illegal.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
James Potter was an annoying entitled brat. And that was coming from a princess.

Lily absolutely detested James Potter. She tried to spend as much time as she could with Severus, after all, she and he had been friendly enough before and she felt as though by not picking him as lionheart, she had sealed his lower-income castle employee fate.

Though Severus did not seem to be the kind and caring friend he once was and after the incident. While he would engage in small talk with Lily when she decided to make it, she could feel that the conversation was mostly forced and out of politeness. It probably didn't help that James was always somewhere nearby, but there were just more things to disagree on these days, like Snape's choice of friends or hos highly questionable extra curricular activities that seemed to stem from roots of hate against Lily's own family and their rise to power. Still, with little to no effort on his part of their friendship, Lily could feel them drifting apart as she so often wished they wouldn't. And now she was stuck with James Potter.

Over the years, Lily had found many things she despised about James Potter. He did not know when to shut up. He would talk for hours and hours without being spoken to, would plan pranks on his off time with his friends, and would target specific people, making their lives a living hell. She is fifteen year old and she cannot live like this anymore, the last four years have been a nightmare.

But the most annoying thing about James Potter was that he won't stop hitting on her.

Each morning, he would extend his hand to help lead her down the stairs. She takes it begrudgingly each time, rolling her eyes and barely making contact with him. Most of her encounters are as following:

"Alright Princess?" he asks, a wink accompanying his playful smile

He throws a cheeky smile at her, eyes imploring her to stare back, and she scowls, keeping her gaze far ahead.

"No very talkative today are we Evans?"

She turns her head violently to stare at him, eyes narrowed.

"Princess will do just fine Potter."

"Banter only works if there is a witty repartee," he tries again, nudging her elbow.

"On c'mon Evans," he begins.

A sharp glare.

"Princess," he amends, "we have to spend every waking moment together and I'm sick of living in silence. After all, I see the looks you give me."

Now she is only confused.

"It's obvious you're attracted to me, with our close proximity and all…"

"Our proximity is required for your job Potter."

"Yes, but you my dear, obviously enjoy it. I wouldn't be surprised if you can't stand to spend a single waking moment without me."

She does not answer, trying to will herself to keep the flush out of her cheeks.

"Go out with me Evans. I know you take pity hanging out with that Snape creature at times, but now you can have your real first choice-"

"Potter," she cuts him off abruptly seeing red, "That is enough. I do not value our time together anymore than I value time with the giant squid, but the least you can do is let me suffer through it in silence, if only to spare me the headache."

His stare at her is accusing. He almost seems hurt by her accusation, but Lily's temper is ready to fly and she couldn't give a damn.

"Why did you even pick me?" he shakes his head, "It obviously wasn't for my company." He rolls his eyes and sighs under his breath.

She snaps. It is day after day after day that she has to deal with his egocentric behavior and she cannot take it anymore.

"Do you want to know the truth Potter? I didn't pick you! My father did! I would have rather had the Giant Squid as my lionheart than you!"

He just looks at her, eyes upset and shocked at her outburst. Immediately, she feels awful, and wants to take back her words. But they are how she feels and before she can even open her mouth to say something about her temper, they have already begun walking, this time in silence.

The next day, he greets her with an "Alright, Evans?".

She wants to bang her head against the wall.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
In is about 6 months to a year later when Lily is awoken by the gunshots.

She wakes up in a panic, eyes desperate to focus in her room's dark lighting, and ready to flee from the comfort of her bed.

Suddenly, the door bursts open, a dark silhouette in the doorway, holding a gun.

She scrambles backward, chipping the end of her water glass on her nightstand and holding it out as a weapon.

"Evans!" she hears him whisper-shout, as she holds up the pieces of glass.

"Potter?" she asks in a curious whisper.

His face is grim as he turns to look at her.

"We have to go princess."  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
There are men in black ransacking the palace.

Death Eaters, she realizes, that was what James had called them.

They were after the throne, prepared to take down her family and their immigrant blood, to cleanse the country of their diversity and force everyone to have pure Gryffindor blood.

It does not register with the princess that the men are coming for her, that they are here to kill her, instead, she wonders how men can be this sadistic, to destroy and fight the guards, and have no mercy in their eyes.

She stares as she runs in slow motion, transfixed.

"Princess!" she hears James shout and suddenly his arm is around her middle, heaving her behind him as a bullet whizzes past her ear, and James immediately fires back. They are advancing towards them, two, no three, and James tries to take them all down while protecting her.

He is on the last one, when she sees it out of the corner of her eye, a glimpse of black from the third story, a sniper aiming at James. Without thinking she scurries out from behind James to his side where a dark soldier has fallen and retrieves his gun. She imagines she is in archery when she aims, only shooting her target with her beloved bow.

She hears James fire his last shot to take down the last man in black when she fires her shot, shooting the sniper directly in the side of his chest.

James turns around startled, only to find her holding a gun, and her victim falling off the balcony with a thud.

He gapes, open mouthed, as he tries to comprehend that the princess he is supposed to be protecting has just saved his life.

"Where did you learn to do that?"

She stares him in the eye nonchalantly, gun lowering to her side as she finishes with her tagert. She wants to smile at his surprise.

"Girls have to make their own training. And it can't be all crossed ankles and hostess edict."

He smiles at her. "Don't worry Evans, I'll give you your own training lesson."

Suddenly, they hear gunshots from the level below.

"We have to move," he says, all traces of the smile gone from his eyes.

They race down the corridor to the nearest passage to the safe room, James slightly head of Lily.

She peers around the corner ready to follow after James, but not ready to fire another shot, because Dear God, she has killed someone tonight, when she finds James engaged in a battle with another man in balck.

Lily is frozen behind her corner, hoping to find the right moment to shoot when James is not in the line of fire, but the effort seems futile. She watches the fight carefully. James, she realizes, has never been fighting to kill, but the other figure is, aiming for important, internal organs.

She is shocked that he is sparing a life.

James lands a punishing punch to the man's face and the man encased in darkness stumbles, barely managing to avoid falling to the floor and instead staggering to the balcony doors at the end of the hall, positioned to jump off the balcony to the gardens.

"James!" Lily calls, and begins to run towards him, but she tumbles over her own feet, and James has enough sense to catch her before she lands face first on the palace tile.

The man turns and seems to observe James and Lily's position with a dark look.

"Mudblood," he spats, eyes trained on Lily.

"Hey!" James shouts, and then shoots for real.

The man looks back quickly, but jumps, fleeing the scene, and Lily is stunned to silence.

"C'mon princess," James mutters, shoving them both into the safe room and securing the doors. Her father and her mother are probably in the room nearest to their bedroom, and that leaves Lily and her lionheart stuck in the safe room, and Lily retreats to the back wall.

James turns, done securing the doors, and turns back to her, approaching her slowly, as their history has always been rocky.

"You alright Evans?" he asks, eyes full of sincerity.

She nods, still numb, but James drops next to her on the floor and leans into her side, providing her with warmth.

It is comforting, and she basks in this new side of James, one that will get her to safety and let mistaken men go, who will comfort her and most importantly make her laugh to keep out all the darkness. But she is still shocked from the sight of those dark eyes she had seen on the balcony minutes before.

The dark eyes of Severus Snape staring back at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading my lovely readers! I know it seems like I glossed over the first five years of Lily and James's relationship and Lily's relationship with Snape, but this story is already so long I had to combine some stuff to make the rest fit. There is going to be a ton of action coming up and so so SO much James and Lily romance you are not going to be able to contain yourself! I just need some more time to get the rest of it in order. Thank you soooo much and please r&r for my first multi-chapter story!
> 
> XOXO,
> 
> Emily


	2. Flowers in Her Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A transition to the eventual romance between out two lovebirds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters from the series belong to the wonderful JKR.  
> Also I'm going to try to name chapters after songs so check them out! This one is by the Lumineers!

After about two hours of waiting in the safe room, both Lily and James by the lonesome, she is finally reunited with her parents.

"Lily!" her mother cries with relief as she hugs her tightly to her chest. "Oh darling we were so worried about you! Are you alright? Injured in any way?" She begins looking her over frantically, searching every part of her body for any form of scratch, bruise, or ruptured organ.

"Now Diana," says the King coming up behind her, tone stern but eyes no less concerned, "I'm sure James has done a fine job of protecting her."

"I'm fine mum really," Lily tries to reassure her mother, "We're all fine."  
"Yes," her father answers gravely, "It seems as though we were extremely lucky to have had no casualties in the castle tonight. But it is clear that Voldemort and his forces have take over far more of Slytherin than we thought and have obviously become a bigger threat than we are accustomed to dealing with."

"Why?" Lily demands, shocked and angry as they continue to exit the room. He spots guards, so many of them wounded, being carried out to the med bay. One man, Diggory she thinks his name is, looks to be in excruciating pain. "Why would someone do something like this?"

"They hate us and our blood," replies her father, "They think that we have stolen the throne from the previous rightful heirs."

"The Peverils have died out!" Lily protests, "They left the throne to you! And we have done so much more for the people!"

"I know darling," he reassures, "But now Voldemort is against us and all who stand with us."

"It's wrong," Lily concludes, having nothing left to say other than the obvious.

"Persecution for one's beliefs is always wrong. They have their own beliefs, and we have ours. We may never agree, and we can never force them to agree or else we are no better than them."

"So what do we do?"

"We do the same we always have. We punish those who have committed crimes, murder, rape, because those are clear violations to the law and basic human code. But we protect and shelter all people. We all have the capability of change."  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
While her parents take a much needed trip to Ravenclaw to discuss the impending danger of Voldemort, James has taken it upon himself to sit beside her at dinner. He is silent, as is she, but she can't help but feel comforted by another presence.

By the Wednesday after her parents have left, James approaches the subject of training.

"What is your schedule tomorrow Princess," he asks casually as he sifts through a bowl of porridge in search for the raisins. She notices he has done that almost every time he has eaten porridge at breakfast. Belatedly, she wonders what else she has noticed.

"Um," she says, startled at his attempt to make conversation, "After I finish most of the paperwork I think I have free hour after lunch."

"Excellent, " he replies, "Would you like to begin training then?"

"Training?" she asks confused.

"Hand to hand combat training," he says, like it is naturally the thing she should be doing in her free time, "and perhaps a lesson in weapons, though you seem skilled in firearms if the other night was anything to go by."

"Oh," she says, the conversation finally catching up to her. Never before has someone offered for her to train in combat in any way. It has always been assumed that she would be married off to some prince who would become the leader of Gryffindor, and she would sit in the background as an obedient wife. She has never wanted that life, and in preparation has involved herself in as many matters of state that she can, but never has she been seen as a candidate to be a physical asset.

"Yes," she finally settles on, "That sounds lovely."

She turns back to her breakfast. Conversation drawn to an abrupt end.

Out of the corner of her eye she can see James picking out the raisins.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
She wishes she could say she was good at training right away. Like the time she impressed the hell out of James with a lucky shot and he had seen potential.

Unfortunately, James beats her without breaking a sweat. A few times.

He keeps trying to explain and show her where to put her hands to defend herself, where and how to curl them and strike her opponent's body, and by the end of the first session she manages to get a couple good shots in that don't quite injure him but make forceful contact.

By the end of many training sessions Lily has gotten the hang of it. She has discovered how to spot an opponent's weaknesses, and how to exploit it. She would almost say that on a good day, she is a match for James.

James's weak spot is his left side. He is simply too coordinated with the entire right side of his body that the left side just seems to be a little slow in following the plans his brain has made. Ergo, Lily is currently gunning for his left side.

James, however, is using this training time with Lily to ensure that his left side is covered at all times. He has several advantages over Lily, the most obvious is his height, and though he looks lean, the boy is practically made out of muscle. Lily, a girl already an inch shorter than average can she that she would be quite over her head, when taking on an opponent of his size.

But Lily has learned that although size is an important factor, wit and strategy have a more suitable outcome in most matches.

James is currently on the offensive, moving quickly around her and aiming quick and fast punches as quick as she can block them. She feels herself slowly being backed into a figurative corner, as she is strictly stuck on the defensive. Suddenly, James has exploited her own weakness, and as she is so concerned with blocking his punches and the upper half of her body, he leans in and simultaneously kicks out one of her legs from under her.

What James seems to forget is that all her time on defense has also let her analyze his offensive moves, and as she comes crashing down to the floor, she manages to snag his left wrist which has not quite made it across his body and pull him down with her.

She takes the force of the fall, her back hitting the floor with an audible thud, but James lands painfully in his elbows on the top of her.

She finally manages to see clearly from her position on the floor she finds him sprawled on top of her, blinking right back.

Their close proximity is frightening, but frightening in a way that makes her pulse run fast and her lungs hold in air as the tension between them becomes heavier, thicker, and she is afraid of this moment, to touch whatever this delicate, intimate thing is, whatever its becoming, whatever she has made this all up to be in her head, but especially afraid of what comes next.

James decides for her.

He smiles, a truly heartbreakingly joking grin that makes her question the validity of his feelings, and lets out a breathy laugh.

"Taking your opponent down with you. Quick thinking, Evans, but try to remember that the feet are just as if not more important than the upper body sometimes. Wanna go again?"

He lifts up off of her, offers her a hand up, and she takes it, dusting herself off and trying to find the balance of standing on her own two feet again.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
In his limited free time, James has also begun training with the other guards. She doesn't know when, but she starts watching from the window of the women's room. He may be her lionheart, but he does not assert himself like she would expect, instead he slips quietly into the back of the line, and begins the morning workout without making a fuss.

She is shamefully entranced when he begins to take off his shirt, and she observes his toned chest from years of his own lionheart training.

She notices that he runs a hand through his hair only when he's nervous, that he has an odd habit of twiddling his thumbs when sitting through important political meetings. She notices how he doodles broomsticks and initials in his spare parchment and how he always has a hand on his knife when they mention the kingdom of Slytherin, so hell bent on destroying her family and her home.

She sees James, her lionheart. And it scares how much she is beginning to value him.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
After James returns from his training session with the guards later in the week and makes his way to dinner, he approaches Lily with an intriguing proposition.

"Lily," he begins in a hushed tone so her parents won't overhear, because somewhere between spending almost everyday together for the past six years and fighting a group with opposing hateful values seems to have let them drop the pleasantries and let them start addressing each other by their first, "I want to do more to help with the fighting."

Inwardly, she almost begins to panic. She tries to keep the conversation light, "I hope you weren't planning on quitting on me. Good lionhearts are so hard to come by these days."

His response is too serious for the conversation as he stares her dead in the eyes, unwavering.

"Never," he says in a tone that she has rarely heard him use except for that fateful night.

"I was, however, thinking I could do more to help with the strategic end of the fighting. You know, plans after we get the intelligence back from out spies and snipers and such. Help to lead the troops as much as I can from here."

Lily stares at him blankly, but there are a million questions running through her mind.

"Before I was your lionheart," he begins, "I was one of two boys in the army who were selected to captain one day. The last captain, he's retiring now, and I just think, I train with all these guards, you know, I know them, Sirius and Remus, and I'm invested, and I know I can't be commander and captain full time because I made this commitment and I assure you you have my full loyalty and if you say no I won't do it but-"

"James," she has to cut him off because is rambling is too cute and so is his determination and his care for the others, "I think it's a wonderful idea. I do have one requirement though."

"Anything," he says seriously.

"I want to help."

"No." is his immediate response.

"Why not?" she asks immediately offended, "It's just strategy and I'll have you know I'm pretty good at that, I help Dad with the troops sometimes and I'll continue my fighting training with you-"

"It's too dangerous," he cuts her off, which is just so very rude of him to cut off a princess, "My job is to protect you and I'm not going to let you come in harm's way if they figure out who's making these plans-"

"Nonsense." she's feeling strongly about this, "I'm going to help you with this. I care about our guards too, especially Remus and Sirius, and I'm sorry if this makes protecting me a bit harder for my lionheart, but I'm doing it!"

She's quite red in the face when she finishes her statement and he's looking at her like she's the most adorable thing he's ever seen.

He puts his hand on hers but turns back to his dinner.

"Whatever you say princess."  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Somewhere along the line, they have become good friends, though Lily is beginning to think that working together with him to stop the hate stemming in the community has made her want to be a little more than friends. They keep their new seating arrangement at meals, and instead of silence and strategy, they laugh and joke with each other. They save the silence for the echoing halls and the strategy talk for their meetings with the guard representatives.

The meetings are her favorite parts of the days. She and James rival each other in every way with their intellect. Their arguments are well thought out, their plans each fantastic and they often argue about whose is the most reliable, yet whose is the fastest, and by the end of it, she is sure that he has taken in some her genius to heart. After all, she has learned and appreciated more than enough of his way of thinking.

Outside of their serious meetings, but sometimes within,she begins to hint at her own feelings, through subtle flirtations. She places her hand on her shoulder, bicep, even daringly touching his thigh on the garden bench.

He seems unresponsive, instead tensing up and not doing anything about her advances. She wants to scream, he's been hitting on her for years! Why now, when she suddenly see what a wonderful person he is, does he have to pull away?

She flops miserably in her bed.

She hears her door open. She keeps her head down, She can't bother to care, not when her heart feels squished into one big untangle-able knot.

"Oh Lily," she hears Mary's voice, comforting and sweet, "What's wrong love?"

"Why wouldn't he like me after all these years? I've been practically throwing myself at him for months!"

"Oh love," Mary rubs a comforting hand on her back, "Maybe he's just nervous after being rejected all these years."

"Nhhhhhhhhh" she buries her head in her pillow once more.

Mary seems to take pity on her. "Leave it all to me love. I think I have an idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! This chapter has a little bit of a mention of the war, but the action is probably going to be a subplot because this chapter also has A LOT more James/Lily buildup and crush stages and I think that's what we're all really here for! Next chapter will definitely have some REAL James/Lily and things may get a little steamy! Please R&R now that our favorites are interacting! Your words and comments mean everything my lovely readers!
> 
> XOXO,
> 
> Emily


	3. Already Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters that should belong to JKR do.  
> check out this song by Us the Duo its legit one of the favorites!!

Mary had dressed her in one of the most beautiful gowns she had ever designed. It was an emerald green, a color she usually found cliche for her eyes, but was designed to catch a new shade of green whenever she caught the light a different way. It was not too puffy like the other gowns she despised and had to wear to all other social functions, but rather emphasized her waist with then fell in an A-line style down her legs.

But her favorite part was the back. Gone, it seemed, was the of lacing corsets for hours on end, instead Mary had opted for the dress to have no back, but rather connecting straps that met material only when it needed to cover her rear.

"Oh, Mary," she gasped, still staring in the mirror as she could not take her eyes off the beauty of the garment in the reflection before her, "You really have outdone yourself."

Mary smirked, perfectly placing the back of her dress so it fell just the right way. "Tonight, you were instructed to be eye-catching."

Lily's face fell at the prospect of suitors.

"But," Mary continued, "I designed this so maybe you could really catch the eye of a certain lionheart."

She blushes a fiery red that matched her hair.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
She dances with too many princes to count.

She hates them, all of them, because they are snobby and arrogant and posh and awful. Even the polite ones seem to urke her, but that's only when she gets a glimpse of James looking murderous, and she knows there is so much more fun to be had with him then any of them.

However, she is currently dancing with the snobbiest prince of all, Gilderoy Lockhart, the Prince of Ravenclaw. He is a little too handsy and boasts of his fake accomplishments, and has just finished telling her about how good of a husband he would be to his submissive, child-bearing wife, and she has an overwhelming urge to slap those blonde curls right out of his head. But the people of Ravenclaw have been good to the people of Gryffindor, so she settles for stepping on his feet instead.

When the dance ends she walks right out of the Prince of Ravenclaw's arms (really how snooty could one person be?) and towards James. He looks so handsome she can hardly stand it. Lionhearts should not be allowed to be walking around in tight specialty uniforms for balls and have such rough hands that run through their hair like his do. She would outlaw uniforms altogether, but she knows she will be forever distracted no matter what he's wearing.

She huffs and leans against the table just as he is, though she is leaning to be held upright and he more to support his anger.

He pays her presence no mind and continues to glare ahead with that murderous look.

She sighs exasperatedly, "I can't do this. They're all terrible, every last one of them."

He continues not to look at her.

She gives an over-dramatic sigh, her hand falling against her forehead and leaning over James so he has to acknowledge her.

"Maybe I'm forever destined to die alone."

She grabs onto the lapels of his uniform, "Please dear lionheart, protect me from the boredom this evening provides."

His eyes comes alive then and he gives a snort and turns to her, "Trust me Princess, I don't think anyone wants to be here right now."

She gives a look around the room, observing hideously bored faces of monarchs, and disappointed faces of suitors that she is no longer dancing with. She has never seen a party so...sad.

She is suddenly struck with an idea, one that involves a secret passageway she knows he and his friends have found and one that her parents wouldn't approve of. Which means James will have to agree.

She turns to him, eyes bright, "Wanna get out of here?"  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
They giggle, turning around a corner quickly to hide from the approaching guard and pressing their backs against the wall, still laughing as they lower themselves to the ground.

They are sitting on the impeccably clean floor now, leaning heavily against the wall. She imagines what a pair they make right now, a messy, slightly drunk princess in a wrinkled gown and a lionheart in an equally wrinkled uniform, glasses tilted, hair forever messy.

She stares at him, drinking him in greedily, like all the wine she consumed at the ball. However unlike the wine, her lionheart is never merely a distraction. He always seems to draw her full attention.

She feels a little intoxicated, but that does not mean she does not know what she is doing and what she wants. The wine has just given her extra Gryffindor courage.

"Kiss me," she tells him, leaning closer and closing her eyes.

He leans back, his eyes wide and his presence seeming startled.

"No."

Now it is she who leans back, startled. Surely, he did not just pass up an opportunity to kiss her, not after all these years when he has been horribly flirting with her, and, combined with the fact that lionhearts are responsible for following their monarch's every order, she had thought she'd be kissed for sure.

He looks remorseful, and sighs wistfully, running a hand through his hair.

"I can't kiss you because you drunkenly order me to Lily, this isn't how I want this to go. When I kiss you, I want it to mean something, and I can't just...I can't...I can't be like this, treat you like you're every other girl who wants a quick snog. You're not like that, you're so much more than that."

"Right," she clumsily throws her hand up, leaning heavily against the wall once more, "Because I'm the bloody princess."

He turns her chin back towards him so they are face-to-face.

"No," his eyes search hers, "Because you're Lily."

Her eyes search his. The way he says her name, like she is something too delicate to break, like she is his whole world, and the way he is staring at her, heart racing, eyes blazing, she knows that even though they are messy and a little sweaty, that this is the best moment she has ever shared with someone. Ever.

And she knows one more thing.

"I really want to snog you right now." she voices her thoughts.

He laughs and look away, albeit a little disappointedly, like she is funny and cute, but he is disappointed that she does not understand what he is trying to say.

But she does. She wants to snog him right now, and she wants to snog him tomorrow, and she wants to have these moments every day until her heart stops doing that funny flip when he looks at her like that. She just doesn't know how to voice that sober, let alone right now.  
"We'll talk about that tomorrow, then?" he asks, still laughing, "For now, come on princess, let's get you to bed."

He wraps an arm around her and helps her stumble back to her bed chambers, and as he lays her down in her bed and tells her goodnight, she cannot resist sitting up and stopping him at the door.

"James!" she says urgently.

He turns looking surprised.

"I'll still want to snog you tomorrow," she says quietly.

His face breaks out into a goofy, amused grin. Then he turns back towards the door.

"I'll see you in the morning, princess."  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The morning proved to be the worst morning in the history of mornings.

"Up and at 'em princess," Mary calls, lifting the blankets off Lily and effectively ending any hope she had of slumber.

"Ugh, " moans Lily from the bed. Her head pounds for her unwise consumption of wine last night and all she wants to do is continue to not acknowledge the world's existence.

"Lily," Mary sing-songs, "C'mon now darling. I have a perfectly nice dress for you picked out considering a certain lionheart may want to bestow you with a greeting of the lips…"

Lily shoots up with a posture so straight Minerva would be proud.

"Merlin," she breathes, "We did talk about snogging last night."

"Yes I know," Mary replies, "It was all you could talk about when I came upstairs to change you into your night clothes. Your parents also might have something to say about you missing the rest of the suitor ball."

Lily's smile cannot be contained, even at the prospect of being reprimanded.

"Let's go to breakfast."  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Lily descends the stairs to breakfast with more skip in her step than usual. She meets her lionheart at the bottom, and takes his hand, wrapping her elbow in his on their way to the dining room, instead of dropping it like she used to when the were children.

"Hullo Princess," James greets with a smile, eyes sparkling.

She can feel herself starting to blush. "Good morning lionheart."

"Have a good night's rest?"

"Fantastic actually."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, slept like a log. And you?"

"A little restless myself."

Her eyebrows furrow in concern, but his eyes are still sparkling in a way that she knows means they are doing a bit.

"And why would that be?"

"Well, it seems a certain princess was quite insist on snogging a certain lionheart in the depths of the castle."

She feigns surprise.

"Was it the princess of Hufflepuff? Excuse my language, but word around the women's room is she's a right slag."

"No, no," he shakes his head, "A much prettier, classier princess. I was honored she wanted a snog actually."

She moves her face a little closer to his, "And did you want to snog her as well?"

He smiles, bashful, "I'd be a right idiot if I didn't."

They stop right outside the dining room doors.

He sighs. "Lily, I need to know if you meant it last night, not that it was just a sporadic spur of the moment suitor induced statement. Because if not I'm content to be your lionheart or whatever else you need me to be."

Her heart melts and she reaches to cup his check with her free hand.

"I told you I'd still want to snog you in the morning, didn't I?"

He blushes and looks toward the ground.

"Well, this-I mean-Lionhearts and princesses don't typically-have they ever- and a suitor-"

"James," she cuts him off, "I don't really care about any of that. I just want to do what feels right. And right now, this feels like what I want to do."

Her stomach grumbles loudly.

"And maybe, eat some breakfast."

He smiles at her, a secret promise for them to continue this conversation later as he opens the doors to the dining room for breakfast.

Before he can, she leans over and gives him a sweet peck, right on the lips, a quick, untimely little thing, but she is pleased to say when she pulls away he is more than a little stunned and she has to open the doors to breakfast the rest of the way herself.

"Hello darling," greets her father as they enter the hall, taking their respective seats next to one another.

"Did you enjoy the ball yesterday evening?" he enquires after they have settled in and started in on their breakfast display.

"You seemed to be woefully absent towards the end of the night," her mother adds with a pointed look in their direction.

"Oh don't lecture the poor girl Rose," her father adds, with some mirth in his eyes, which Lily knows can never be a good sign. Her father is always one to jump in on the reprimanding.

"It doesn't matter that she missed so much of the ball, not when she has attracted to many suitors already."

Lily throws him a confused look that clearly states that she does not like the direction this conversation is going.

Thankfully, James saves her with some topic of security or another that has her father preoccupied on the threats of Slytherin.

"Yes, yes," her father agrees, "We must have a new strategy regarding our attack and defense in our battles with Slytherin."

James nods along, "Lily and I've been overseeing your army your majesty, when I have the limited time off from protecting your daughter," he smiles at her secretively, "But we've come to the conclusion that we simply do not have the manpower to keep sustaining our defense and offensively go after Slytherin, which means we'll need another strategy with less offensive men, but one that is just as effective."

Her father is deep in thought.

"Well," her mother exclaims, "Not that I don't love defense conversation at the breakfast table, but I think I'm done for the day. I will see you all for dinner. And Lily," she reminds, "don't forget you have that tour later this afternoon." She eyes her and James, "I expect you to be present at the whole event."

She nods, face flaming in embarrassment, as her mother departs from the dining room, effectively ending breakfast.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Lily descends from her room, freshly dressed in her tour attire, and has an extra spring in her step.

She takes James outstretched arm as they make their way to the car. They both slip into the back, and James wastes no time telling the driver their destination and rolling up the partition. He turns to look at her.

"What time do you think they'll expect us to be home?"

She smiles back mischievously, "Well dad has security meeting until four and mum is entertaining some noble or another, so I'm sure we won't have to be back until three."  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
James and Lily make quick work of the tour of the country. Lily waves to the onlookers and her heart almost melts as she watches James help a small boy back to his mother and picks up his Gryffindor flag.

They arrive back in the limo at two, and with such a long ride back to the castle, Lily can think of a few interesting things to do in a car ride with the very attractive male beside her in a tinted limousine.

There is a twinkle in his eye as he enters the car.

"The premises is secure, Princess," he says as he settles himself in the car.

"You did an excellent job today Princess," Peter addresses from the front seat of the car.

She smiles kindly at him, "Thank you Peter."

James joins the pleasantries, "The tour seemed to be a success."

Lily smiles, "Well I'm sure the day wouldn't have been without the excellent service," she addresses them both. She pats James on the knee fir his hard work.

She doesn't move her hand.

Peter and James continue some form of conversation throughout the first twenty minutes or so of the ride, but Lily isn't paying attention. In fact she's hell bent on making sure that James isn't paying attention either, as she slowly but steadily moving her hand up his thigh.

She feels James tensing beneath her hand, as her ears flit in and out of the conversation around her.

Finally Peter says something along the lines of "strategy" or "Voldemort", she doesn't really remember and she's betting James doesn't either because she is a girl on a mission, but the minute she hears the word, she turns to face James and says, "Oh, I've been meaning to talk to you about a new strategy Father recommended before we arrived back for our afternoon meeting."

She turns back to the front, to face Peter apologetically, "You don't mind do you Pete? We'll just talk boring strategy back here."

"It's no problem," he says but he really doesn't have a choice because the partition is already rolled halfway up.

James turns to face her immediately, moving her hand off of his leg with ferocity.

"What the hell are you doing?"

She looks at him questioningly, "What the hell did you think I was doing?"

"Well, it certainly looked like you were trying to get us caught."

She stares at him blankly.

He stares back, seemingly becoming enraged, "And don't you think we should talk about this first? This whole situation is relatively new and complicated-"

She huffs cutting him off, "This relationship business is only complicated because you keep making it that way. Do you want to be with me?"

"Yes but-"

"Good because I want to be with you too."

"The others-"

"Screw the others. We can keep this a secret if you want, a secret for now to see how this goes, and I'm sure if it goes South, nothing can be worse than when you first became my lionheart and I was determined to hate you."

He gives her a charming grin now, "But you never really hated me, Evans."

She's bewildered by his statement, "Oh yes I most certainly did! I thought you were the most pig-headed, stubborn, arrogant-"

'Most charming lionheart you had ever seen. It was all just a ploy to make me think you didn't like me."

"I didn't like you!"

"Really?" he asks, moving a bit closer to her, "Well then I guess we can use the last 37 minutes of the ride back to the castle in silence considering you hate me so much."

She smiles deviously back at him and leans even closer as she speaks.

"Might be hard to keep you quiet over there Potter, with all that moving your mouth likes to do. Need something to occupy it?"

"Why Princess," he has the gall to play clueless, "Whatever do you have in mind?"

They rush towards each other with something akin to longing but they have never been apart for long periods of time so they chalk it up to sexual tension that is giving them this bruising intensity.

He kisses her long and hard and her lips sting as he nips at them, teeth clashing, until he begins to become distracted and nips lower, her jaw, her neck, her ears, and she is powerless, can do nothing but graso tightly onto his unruly hair and he continues his journey south.

His hands travel behind her, reaching for the back of her dress as she tries to pull him on top of her to feel his weight pressing deliciously onto her, but their agendas seem to have clashed, especially when he finds the row of buttons down the back making a path from her back to her bum.

"Merlin Evans," he whispers and she almost whines at the loss of the feeling of his lips in her skin, "How many buttons are on this damn dress?"

"Go through the bottom," she gasps instructions at him, trying in vain to pull at the many layers of his uniform as well.

Eventually, Lily discovers that James wears not one, not two, but FIVE undershirts and her head is a little too foggy to take them all off. Combined with the low height of the car ceiling that poor James is trying desperately not to hit his head on as he lowers her down the seat and tries to maneuver his way through the thousands of layers of tool that her dress is composed of, and they give up on their little escapade and simply enjoy each other's company.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
However following the strategy meeting after they exit the limo, James takes her hard and fast against the table in the debriefing room, surrounded by tiny little pegs that represent soldiers as they knock over the set-up the team has worked so hard on building.

It is only the first of their many escapades. For the next three weeks, James and Lily could be found sneaking around the castle, hoping to gain entertain a repeat of their time in the strategy room.

Keeping it a secret is harder than they thought.

The problem is, as two very important members of society, both James and Lily have many duties and people to report to, so naturally, many people know.

Sirius knows, because he walked in on them when they tried to have another go in the debriefing room and he had forgotten his scroll with his assignments.

Remus has just been too smart for his own good and had his suspicions confirmed when he accidently walked by the alcove they were in for his monthly doctor's check-up on his heart after assisting them with strategies.

Peter, well Peter probably knows because they were not too subtle about it the first time in the car, and if Remus and Sirius haven't divulged it to him because they can't tell any of the Order, (their special army unit) then James will legitimately be stunned.

Marlene, Lily's lady in waiting has been asking her many a time who the man in her life is, and had decided it is James after he had said something about her values as a princess that made her blush.

And Mary undoubtedly knows, because she is the one who rouses them from Lily's bed in the morning when James decides to sneak in and spend the night.

So really, only five people know, And James and Lily are both relatively sure that none of them will spill the beans about their little secret.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
They get away with their secret relationship for all of 9 months, They probably couldn't have done it without the little warnings and information that comes from their friends about rumors of suitors and knocks on the door when advisors or the King himself is coming. Mary has been doing her part remarkably well.

It is one morning months later when Lily inevitably knows that Mary will come in to wake them up from their slumber and activities the night before. Instead she finds herself being awoken by the feeling to someone staring at her.

She opens her eyes blearily, and there is James, face close to hers, eyes tracing the planes of her face before settling on the green of her eyes as they finally find a place to focus.

"Hi," she says softly, lost in his gaze.

"Hi," he says back. He is looking at her like she is the sun and he is a plant in the midst of dying, craving her warmth to give her a purpose, to create something to better himself, to better them and their purpose, and she hopes he is conveying the same because he makes her so much more, so much better, and braver, and whole.

She never wants to stop feeling like this.

It's like he can read her mind, as he tells her, "I want to do this forever."

She smiles up at her, and leans towards him to kiss him, "Me too."

He indulges her for a moment before pulling back, "I mean it you know. I want to do this forever." He is looking at her with an intensity that makes her think she is missing something.

"I know," she says slowly, not sure how to respond, "I like this too."

He stares at her again, this time analyzing her as if trying to read her mind and her reaction to what he will say next.

Finally he seems to decide to say it.

"Lily," he begins, with such an unusual earnestness that she is almost nervous, "These past few months have been...I mean this time that we spend together…" he seems to give up but continues.

"I want to wake up next to you everyday. I want to make you laugh and smile and I want to feel this way, just blissfully happy for however long we can. I know we're nineteen , but that's old by royal standards. And I want to do the rest too, I want to get through the rough stuff, and argue, and defeat Voldemort and help the people-"

"James!" she cuts him off, "What are you getting at?"

The magnitude of his focus is definitely scaring her now, and his eyes are completely serious as he says,

"Marry me, Evans."

She rolls back to her pillow to look at the ceiling in exasperation.

"James," she says, chest feeling heavy, shoulders aching from carrying the responsibility of a royal on them, "Don't bring this up. You know I can't do anything about marriage. I can't choose, my life isn't one I can give away freely, and however much I may want to, or however I feel I can't-"

He's getting off the bed abruptly, and she feels her stomach collapsing in on itself, surely he can't be leaving, can he?

"James, please don't leave, we can-"

He's rummaging through his clothes strewn on the floor the night before, and she's sick, she is going to vomit if he leaves her now-not now in the middle of the best relationship she has known-in the middle of this conversation she has been dreading-

And then he's on one knee before her in all his naked glory, a ring box a sizable diamond, even by royal standards, in his hands.

"Marry me, Lily," he says, "Please."

There is a lump in her throat that forbids her from answering. It should be labelled her eventual betrothed.

"Please Lily," he pleads.

Her eyes well with tears, Merlin she loves this boy, this man,loves him more than she thought possible, and here he is, asking her for the one thing he desperately wants, the one thing she desperately wants to give him, but it's not hers to give.

Her voice is thick when she manages to speak, "I-"

"No," he stops her, voice just as thick as hers, the only physical sign of his feelings, "Just-I'm sorry. I know you can't promise me anything and it's unfair of me to ask. But please, if...if you want the same thing-just take the ring and hide it, wear it below your neckline, in your sleeve, anywhere-"

He stops talking as she climbs out of bed, and rests her forehead against his, eyes imploring him to look at her. She rests her hand on the ring box, and feels his fingers trembling, and his eyes slide closed in a final act of desperation.

She closes the ring box with a snap, the sound startling him to open his eyes.

When he does, he sees her, picking up a silver chain to thread the ring through.

"I'll wear high collar necklines as often as I can," she explains, "But when I can't I'll have Mary sew a little pocket in my sleeve, a heart on my sleeve if you will-"

He tackles her onto the bed, attaching his lips to hers with what would be a ferocity but he keeps smiling.

He grabs the ring from her, and places it on her left ring finger. They sit and stare at it, as it glistens in the morning sunlight that is beginning to break through her curtains.

They have one unadulterated, perfect moment.

And then, right on cue, Mary comes in, eyes shielded as to prevent her from getting an eyeful of an unwanted sight, and announces, "Your Majesty, the King has requested your presence at breakfast at its normal hour."

James kisses Lily one last time, gathers his clothes and escapes through the secret passageways he and his friends found in the castle when they were kids, as Lily wretches off her ring and she and Mary hurry to dress her for breakfast in fifteen minutes.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Breakfast begins in a hushed manner, as everyone speaks about the recent Voldemort attack on the nearby village where Lily's family had come from before the throne. The Annual Jousting had been overrun by Death Eaters and the citizens who were not casualties seemed to be frightened and demanded action from the King on his part. It seemed the strategy meeting was being combined with breakfast this morning.

"There is no doubt we need an offensive of some sort," James was in the middle of arguing, "But we cannot send the traditional style. We simply cannot spare the troops or afford the casualties there will undoubtedly be."

Lily found herself thinking aloud,"That's the whole problem with Voldemort. Nothing about his style is traditional. That's why we don't know how to fight it. I wish there was a way we could see what they're planning next."

"A spy, " her father says gravely, from the end of the table, where he has been silent for far too long, "We need a spy, someone we can trust completely, who values our safety over personal gain."

"A spy?" Lily cries, unease creeping in, "A job like that is an invitation to death. We would be completely unsuccessful."

Her father shakes his head, "It would be dangerous, but it would have to be done right. Just someone to become friend;y enough to get word of plans, not to completely defect and try to join his inner circle. I imagine his plans spread through Slytherin quickly, with so many of them against us. We just need someone to go undercover and blend, but someone loyal and with that courage is hard to come by."

"I hate to say it," James adds on, "But I think his Majesty is right."  
The King's head perks up at that.

"James," he says slowly, "You would be just the sort of man for the job."

Lily quickly tries to deflect from that conversation.

"Too bad he's the lionheart," she tries to joke.

"Yes," another advisor sides with her, "The princess needs to be protected at all times, as the heir to the throne until she marries and produces another heir."  
If Lily wasn't so focused on the whole, "stop Dad from sending James on a dangerous mission" thing, she would totally have made a snide comment about how that remark implies she is only valued for her ability to have children.

"The Princess could have another guard for a short period of time," another advisor supplies, "And now that she is also trained in combat," he makes a disapproving face even as he speaks the words, "I'm sure we could spare James for a month or two to help us win this war."

"The process of choosing a lionheart was a long one," Lily argues, very respectfully if she does say so herself, "Are we really going to demean both the process and the value of the lionheart?"

"Of course not, darling," comes from her father, her very wise, self-sacrificing father who seems to have no problem sacrificing Lily's needs as well.

"Your Majesty," the advisor pipes up again,"Your safety is an upmost priority. But not only is the princess's safety at stake, but so is your own and your wife. If I can be quite frank sire, the entire country and our values are at stake."

"I know," her father says gravely, not bitingly or in control and Lily's stomach drops to the shining marble floor, "And we must out our best foot forward in defending our values and our people's right to life."

Her father turns his attention to her, "In three days time, Sirius will leave his position as captain of the army. He can command from afar as we gather intel from James, who will be abroad and undercover. I doubt we'll be making any offensive maneuvers until then," here he nods at James, "and Sirius will also overtake James's position as lionheart."

"It will only be for a short amount of time,: her father assures her as Lily opens her mouth to protest.

"Two weeks," her father addresses James, "We will work on your cover as much as necessary over the next three days."

James nods, "Yes sir," though Lily can read him like a book, and she sees beneath his cool exterior that he is at best uneasy at the idea of undercover work. James has trained his whole life as a protector in the spotlight. Though the world does not know the true identity or face of her lionheart, the position of lionheart is still highly regarded among the country. James learning all about undercover work in three days makes her uneasy too.

"Well," her mother's voice echoes bright and cheery over the remnants of strategy conversation as she clasps her hands together and pastes on a smile, "Darling, your father and I have some exciting news for you."

Lily's hand unconsciously goes to the ring resting below the high neckline of her gown as she fakes her surprise.

"And what would that be?" she asks voice giving away her suspicions.

"Well," her mother begins, smile almost splitting her face, "At that ball all those months ago when you went missing halfway into the evening," here Lily receives the same disappointing look that always comes with the topic of that particular ball, "It seems as though you made much more of an impression than you thought. Gilderoy Lockhrt has asked for your hand."

"My what?" Lily asks incredulously, because she surely could not have heard her mother correctly.

Her mother gives her a stare that reads, "yes your hand in marriage" and "please have a polite reaction about this".

"Daddy?" Lily says, turning to her father.

He looks as though he would rather be

"Do you really think this is a good idea?

Her father manages to look sheepish at the speed at which this betrothal had been prepared.

"Well," her father says slowly, like he not only had just managed to send her lionheart to war but was now sealing her fate and her relationship's known but neglected expiration date, "A marriage between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor would help us to reunite our alliance and defeat Voldemort-"

"Hufflepuff's army is not nearly as good as ours," Lily butts in.

"Ah-but it is one less enemy that Voldemort cannot overtake. And it always helps to have some more men prepared for a worst case scenario." her father interjects.

"And Gilderoy is such a handsome young man," Her mother adds, shining Gilderoy's reputation as if he is some trophy, or unattainable commodity that Lily has manages to get ahold of. Though she knows deep down, if this marriage occurs, it will be Lily that will be the shiny Gryffindor trophy wife, second to the King, the bumbling idiot Hufflepuff King, who despite Lily' superiority in government, will rule the lan she has worked so hard to build.

"Yes," her father amends, "He seems to have taken a very particular liking to you Lily. I'm sure he'll prove to be a suitable husband."

"And," her mother continues as she graciously spoons her oatmeal and ignores the look of horror on Lily's face, "We have already promised your hand to him in marriage, so there really is nothing we can do about it. He will be here in about 10 months for th wedding."

" 10 months until the wedding?" Lily sputters and her mother finally look up from her oatmeal to address her.

"Really Lily," her face deadpans and there is a hint of annoyance laced through her tone, "You're nineteen. It's high time you got married and we trained a suitable husband of yours for the throne. Your father and I haven't gotten any younger."

"And did no one think to ask me about this decision?" Lily asks, her famous temper rising to her cheeks as a flush travels up her neck.

"You danced with him at the ball-" her father tries to amend.

"And I thought he was a royal arse!" Lily interrupts, "I don't want to marry Lockhart! I want...I want…" she searches desperately inside herself for the courage to say what she truly wants,and outwardly her eyes mimic her emotions trying to find someone to draw strength off of to present her family with the information that will surely ruin her and the only boy she wants to marry, who's ring she currently has hidden beneath her clothing.

"Darling," her father lays a hand over hers, eyes boring into hers, "Sometimes, the life of a royal, even the private life, is a slave to the uty you are born with. This is something bigger than all of us, and we need every chance we can get to even have a chance at not only saving our throne but our subjects."

She has never seen her father beg her to do something before, and it hurts her soul that as she searches for someone to draw strength from, she cannot draw it from him any longer. Instead her father draws his strength from her.

She swallows her emotions, but refuses to nod, just settles back into her seat quietly.

She tries to hold herself together, but she thinks about her father, broken and stressed, and James, who in three days time will be in excruciating danger, and how the cold metal of his promise to love her and spend the rest of their lives together hangs against the base of her throat…

She excuses herself three minutes later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my lovely readers! Sorry i just assaulted you with a huge mess of emotions and plot but this had good momentum and was sitting in my drive and needed to get out into the world. THIS CHAPTER IS ONE I'M PROUD OF BC OF THE ROMANCE!!! This is the last of what I have written so far so it'll probably be a little while before I update again! Thanks for coming along for the ride and PLEASE REVIEW!
> 
> XOXO,
> 
> Em <3


	4. Meet Me In the Hallway

She does not see James as much as she would have liked to over the next three days. There is so much to be done, what with his mission leaving in three days, but she knows as much as she would like to see him, there is a kind of hurt that inexplicably comes when she has to see his face, knowing that he will be in terrible danger and that she will wait another few weeks to see him. Of course there is always the issue that this, these last few moments they can spend together is the last of them, with her fate sealed and gifted to Lockhart and no longer just a passing suture duty to her country, but they'll tackle one issue at a time. She'd rather see James alive and not be with him than to wonder, because she knows the guilt will kill her, crush her, and the grief… Merlin knows she would never be able to take the grief.

She attends the strategy meetings, not really hearing, not really seeing, just watching the figures on the board with glazed eyes, registering belatedly in the back of her mind with little wooden piece is James and how he slowly but surely moves across the board.

During the last strategy meeting on the last day before James's departure, the table shakes as people bustle around it in last minute preparation. The piece that represents James falls no less than six times.

Lily is sure it is a sign that he is meant to die.

She quickly enters her room after the meeting feeling sick to her stomach, nauseous in a way that she is sure just must be the nerves because the one person who really matters to her in the world is leaving and putting himself in mortal danger because her idiotic father is making him, and she cannot even go with him to protect him.

The contents of her stomach mercifully stay down as her sits on the edge of her bed and closes her eyes, taking long , slow deep breaths, measuring the minutes she has stolen for herself as she knows she is expected in the women's room for a meeting to start planning her wedding but that is another matter altogether and one that makes her sick for entirely different reasons.

Too absorbed in her self-pity, Lily is too slow to notice the subtle squeaking of her door hinges and does not register that someone is in the room until she is jumping in fright as James places his hands over hers on her knees.

She pulls away for a second as she takes in James, hair mused in an anxious mess, his hands twitching even as they rest over hers, and an overall twitchy demeanor. She supposes she would be a little twitchy too if she was being sent to her death.

Unconsciously, a hand travels to the base of her throat where she has taken to wearing the cool band under her necklines. The roughness of the diamond scratches the delicate skin, but is a reminder that he is still here for now, that he will be somewhere out there, her James, just waiting out the days until he can come home to her.

"Lily." he starts in a low nervous voice that she has only heard once from him when he was naked and on one knee on her bedroom floor,

"Lily," his voice shakes in the most delicate of ways.

She opens her eyes and takes his face in her hands, though his eyes are down-turned, and she begins to feel an odd wetness hot the tips of her fingers.

"Oh my love," she says, beginning to stroke his cheeks and wipe some of the tears away, "Don't cry."  
He looks up and smiles at her, a joking grin that she thinks she will perhaps miss more than his sincerity, "You started it."

Dilatorily, she realizes that she too can feel the strange wetness on her cheeks.

"Oh," she says, all innocent and joking though her tone cannot convey it, "Look at that."

He smiles then, a true smile that has her smiling too and she presses her smile against his, savoring the curve of his lips and the way her chest seems to glow even through her melancholy.

Somberly, they come to their senses.

She closes her eyes again, trying to take it all in again, and when she opens them, there is James, looking at her with a burning intensity she can never ignore nor deny.

"Don't go." she urges him.

"Lily-"

"Don't go," she tells him urgently, eyes wild, "Tell my father no. There will be another way, we just need more time to find it-"

"If I tell your father no I will been seen as a traitor to the crown. I'll be coined and tried as if I'm the spy!"

"You won't!" she exclaims, "You're my lionheart! You're job is to protect me, not find the spies. It's a suicide mission and you know it!"

"I'll be fine!"

"I'm never going to see you again! Do you even want this life together?"

"Do you? Because I didn't see you declining that offer of marriage so quickly!"

"I can't do that or it'll expose our relationship."

"Do you ever want to go public with this relationship? I'm tired of stolen moments with you Lily! I want to marry you!"

"You won't be able to if you die!", she's on a roll now, "And what you're going to spy and terrorize and use unforgivables on the innocents of the town?"

"I'll do what's necessary to come back to you."  
"I don't want you to come back here if you're a changed man who thinks he can torture innocent people for sport!'

"You'd give up on us so quickly/ If I'm changed or panicked while fighting for the good of this kingdom?"

"Torture isn't for the good for anyone!"

"I don't know what you want me to do Lily!"

"Go tell my father you won't go!"

"Go tell your father I'm going to be your husband and that's why I can't go!"

She stares at him, angry like she has never been angry before at this stupid boy. Her chest heaves and her face is red from screaming and he is staring at her like she's the enemy.

His face hardens at her silence. "I get it Lily. You don't want this, at least not enough to fight for it. Keep-keep the ring."

He shakes his head at her and begins turning away.

She's hurt now, hurt and angry. How could he think she didn't want this? After she indulged him and made time for him, and confided in him her deepest fears?

"Don't bother coming back if you use an unforgivable!"

He stares at her, eyes colder than she's ever seen, but a broken man none the less.

"Lily."

And that is all it takes.

His lips come descending upon hers and her mouth opens greedily against his lips, as if trying to swallow him whole. James does not seem to mind, as his hands wander quickly and deviously across all the soft and sharp angles of her body and she is forever thankful she chose an A-line gown instead of the poofy skirts she usually wears.

She is especially thankful when his hand finds its way under her skirts, and hers finds its way into his pants and then they both find their way into the bathroom where he takes her once against the sink, in the tub, and they finally expend themselves on the bathroom floor.

She misses her wedding planning meeting, and Lily finds she cannot really care. She is spent and James is a God among men for that performance.

She is disgusted with their fight, with his words, as they lie on the bathroom floor she feels a sense of dread and yet she is apologetic. She wants him to come back, but he obviously doesn't care about her enough to do so.

She knows Mary will find them soon and send them back to her assigned duties, and somewhere deep in her soul she knows this will be the last time she will see James for a long time.

She presses a kiss to his forehead, a parting gift in more ways than one.

"Be safe," she whispers to him, and then to a God she does not know if she has ever really believed in, a tearful, "Please keep him safe."

Then she picks herself off the cool bathroom floor and lets the exhaustion of a broken heart sweep her into a dreamless unconsciousness in her bed.  
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It has been a long day, Lily's nausea had returned with a vengeance, she was exhausted, and her head would not stop pounding, or reliving every memory she had of James in the two months since he had left. All she wanted to do was lay down and hope that whatever illness that was making her retch up the contents of her stomach would somehow evaporate. What Lily did not expect to find an unexpected guest in her room.

Her balcony was open, illuminating the figure in the moonlight, simultaneously explaining his way of entry.

Her eyes first landed on his boots, which seemed to be dirty but still made of the same noble material he had left in. They traveled up his figure, his well-fitted pants slightly torn, his silken dress shirt, all the way to his dark hair.

There was only one unexpected visitor she was secretly expecting. A smile should have broken its way across her face. She should have jumped into his arms. And she would have.

But there was one problem.

Last time she had seen this man he had broken her trust, his promise to be loyal to her and always by her side. She could remember the way his dark eyes stared, giving away too much and suddenly nothing at all, but she could also remember the way he had spat at her, had looked her dead in the eyes and wished worse than death upon her.

Severus Snape should not have been in her bedroom.

"Lily," he answers he blank stare breathlessly, his eyes focused only in her as if she is the only thing keeping him upright. He starts to approach her, arms reaching for her, but she shrinks away, taking a step back towards her door.

"What are you doing here?" she asks, voice not quite as confident as she would have liked to be.

He seems unbothered though since she is still in the room, although he keeps his distance this time as he begins to speak, "I came to save you," he says quietly, gaze darting between her and the balcony he has come through.

For a moment all she registers is that he is here to take her away and her fight responses immediately begin to kick in, sizing him up, trying to find his weakness. But then she remembers that he is here to save her, and that brings on a whole new flood of worries.

"Save me?" she asks, looking him right in the eyes, "Is someone planning to attack me, the palace?"

"No," he says, he keeps speaking quickly and looking at the goddamn balcony and she is going to lose her mind if someone else comes through there, "I'm here to save you, just come with me and everything will be fine."

She crosses her arms stubbornly, "Well if there isn't an immediate danger, I don't think I will."

He rolls his eyes ate her, "Quickly," he hisses at her, "We have to go now before someone comes in, He doesn't know I left-"

She narrows her eyes, "Who doesn't know you left?"

He gives her a look that is both frantic and sheepishly guilty and her worst fears are confirmed that not only has he been working closely with Voldemort, that he is only embarrassed at being caught, not by the horrible tragedies that have been destroying her people.

"It doesn't matter, " he counters, "but I have to get you back and pledging allegiance before that idiot lionheart wakes up to Malfoy or we're both going to be-"

"Lionheart?" she asks, voice full of surprise, "Do you-you have James?"

He grabs her hand then, still urging her to leave, "Come on Lily we have to-"

She whips her hand away and gives him her most murderous staring down, "Severus."

"You don't need him Lily, he's just been following you around like a puppy dog all these years, I can protect you better than that pompous ass could ever-"

"Don't speak about James that way," she says angrily, because who does he think he is coming in here after he's abandoned her, after he spat that awful word at her and now is working to destroy her family and her people?

He eyes her again, and for another long moment, the silence hangs in the air, not quite suffocating, but a puzzle in the air for them both to solve.

"Do you-" he cuts himself off looking bewildered, "Do you actually have feelings for that-that idiotic, arrogant aresehole?"

She hesitates, then, "No! Of course not!"

But her hesitation before her answer negates any claim she had wanted to make and the look he gives her is not the one he gave her when he called her that abominable name, all empty and emotionless. No, this one is full of a hatred she does not think she has ever seen directed at her.

"I can't believe you'd ever fall for his shit. He's never loved you Lily, not like-"

"Oh look who's talking!" she spats with as much force as she can muster, "You turned to the Death eaters Sev! You target me and my family and innocent people in towns you came from. Don't you lecture me about who has fallen for a load of bullshit!"

He takes a breath to contradict her, but his anger is fading as she attacks his shattered character, and she takes this opportunity to continue her lecture.

"And don't you dare talk about James that way. There is no scheme with him, and he may be arrogant but he is less so with every coming day. He has grown up Severus. He, at least has stayed to protect the crown and those who fit your blood purist mold. He is a good and decent person with unwavering loyalty who I admire and care for more than I could ever imagine, and that is more than I can say for you, Severus."

Severus is humbled, she can tell by the way he has lost the fore in his eyes, but he continues to try, "Come with me. I can keep you safe Lily. Come with me and I'll take you to him, but we need to convince the Dark Lord first-"

"I'm not coming with you Severus."

"Lily," his stare is so similar to that of when they were kids that it almost breaks her.

"I'm sorry," she tells him, and she is. Sorry for what he's become, sorry that he chose this path, and sorry that she cannot help him become better.

"I'll be back," he says and jumps from the balcony, and she doesn't have the heart or the time to tell him not to.

And then he's gone like a bat in the night, and she takes three deep breaths before picking up the phone.

"Sirius, we have to go get James."  
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Lily never thought that at 19 years of age that she would be orchestrating an escape plan for her secret fiancee.

It was bittersweet, in a way. At 19, she had resigned herself to inevitably becoming some diplomat's subdued wife, but would fight night and day to make the palace once again her own.

Now she could not imagine a world without James. James, her loyal companion who had seen her for more than just a princess, who taught her to fight and obliged her in attending strategy planning, who wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. James who she had had that horrible fight with before he left. She felt as if they were on uncertain ground now.

But she worried if she did not rescue him soon that he would have not much life to live with her.

As much as she demanded to Sirius that she would go on this mission to bring him back, Sirius would not let her. She faced the usual pushbacks, and she was prepared to, that she was the princess, the heir to the throne, and Sirius had thrown in the "Not just a girl thing Lily, we know you can fight,", but the one that had really gotten to her was that she would put all the other members of the operation in danger because of her relationship with James and that going on the mission would expose her relationship with James.

At least, that was what she told Sirius. When she woke up the morning of the mission vomiting into the loo, she almost thought it was a sign that she wasn't supposed to be on this mission.

When Sirius and the others had left and she had Mary go out and then locked herself in the bathroom and found another sign why she wasn't destined to go on this mission.

And this one was positive.

So she sat, half naked on top of her toilet seat with one hand covering her mouth, Mary knocking loudly and asking her to, " Come out and tell her already because she was dying out here", but Lily was frozen in shock still trying to process that there was this little life inside of her that, fuck it must have been about 2 months old now, wasn't it?

"Lily," she hears Mary's voice loud and clear this time and she almost drops the little stick in shock, "Open the door."

She gets up slowly, and her muscles move her of her own accord to unlock the latch that has been desperately holding her door and most of her pride together. Mary looks at her imploringly and Lily holds out the test wordlessly. Mary gather her into a hug.

"Oh darling," she says, rubbing her back, "Everything is going to be ok."

'He's not even here," she manages through sobs, wiping snot on Mary's uniform.

"Well he'll be back later this afternoon," Mary replies soothingly, "And then you can talk about what you want to do with it then."

Lily sobs even harder, "And we had a fight Mary, a terrible fight. I don't even know where we stand and I love him but he wants more and I can't give him more, and he might be dead-" the sobs obstruct her breathing and ability to speak.

"I'm so scared Mary." It comes out softer than a whisper.

"I know, love."

"I don't want him to be in this awful world where my family is being hunted. He doesn't deserve that," she thinks aloud of her tiny, innocent baby.

"You have options, Lily," Mary says, "You could always give him to someone else who will love him and keep him safe."

"I can't give him away if he doesn't come back. I can't do that Mary."

"Then maybe Gilderoy will be a good dad?"

She pulls back and laughs at the ridiculousness of the situation, but it is also a cruel reminder that Gilderoy Lockhart will be here in 8 months and in that time she will have a baby.

"Oh God," she laughs through her tears, "What am I going to do about that?"

Then she inexplicably bursts into tears again, though she vows to blame the hormones. "I don't want to marry him Mary."

Mary laughs and gathers her into her arms again.

After she has cried all her tears, Mary takes a wipe to her face and begins to dispose of her tears tracks and ruined makeup. No sooner than she is done, the door to her bedroom bursts open without so much of a knock.

"Lily, " Sirius begins, panting and covered in grime, "He's back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long before an update but I'm in college now and things are kinds crazy. It's also v late so I'm gonna leave it here and hopefully next update will be soon!


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